Ulysses Club Inc - Ipswich Branch

Ulysses Club Inc - Ipswich Branch

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Ipswich Branch Blog Post New Entry

TO ERIK

Posted by Ross A Schmidt (crash) on September 26, 2017 at 4:50 PM Comments comments (0)

TODAY IS LUMBERJACK DAY, SO HAPPY LUMBERJACK DAY TO ERIK.:D

Reminder - Talent Quest this Saturday 25 March!

Posted by Julz and Doogee on March 22, 2017 at 6:15 AM Comments comments (9)

Dont forget - your first every Ipswich Branch TALENT QUEST is still on Saturday night :)


Be there at 7pm for a 7.15 ish start - come earlier for dinner if you like - the usual place.

Not too late for a late entry or two...and not too late for you to decide to come and support your mates in their efforts to entertain. I've seen the line up and its good, damn good !!


BE THERE OR BE SQUARE (or round, or oblong, or triangular, or star-shaped).

Essential tool kit for the bikerider

Posted by Erik (Lumberjack) on March 27, 2016 at 9:50 AM Comments comments (0)

Here is a guy who know excatly what we bikeriders need.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsLPIMr6MWc

Next stop "Dune"

Posted by Howza on December 13, 2015 at 11:00 PM Comments comments (2)

Just had to bring this new tech to your attention: http://tinyurl.com/pnhjwgy

(and the reference to Dune refers to books and movies of the same name, which I Ioved!)

Alternative massage

Posted by Erik (Lumberjack) on June 4, 2015 at 9:15 AM Comments comments (0)

Here is a different way to apply massage.

https://youtu.be/-FefpuUbCcg

Bobs new Boots

Posted by Ado on June 1, 2015 at 9:35 PM Comments comments (0)

An oldie but a goodie

Bob's New Boots

Bob always wanted a pair of hardcore motorcycle boots; so seeing a pair on sale, he bought them and wore them home. Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and asked his wife, "Notice anything different about me?

Sandra looked him over and s...

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giggle for this morning

Posted by Anne on May 2, 2015 at 4:50 PM Comments comments (0)

Karen Tedeschi's photo.

Turpentine

Posted by Andy 'Macca' McCann on March 22, 2015 at 7:05 PM Comments comments (0)

A little boy was sitting on the footpath with a bottle of Turpentine. He was shaking it up and watching all the bubbles.

 

A Priest came along and asked the little boy what he had.

 

The little boy said, 'This is the most powerful liquid in the world; it's called Turpentine.'

 

The Priest said, 'No, the most powerful liquid in the world is Holy Water. If you rub it on a pregnant woman's belly, she'll pass a healthy baby.'

 

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growing old

Posted by Anne on February 21, 2015 at 7:00 PM Comments comments (0)

Dawn French Fan Club's photo.

My girls night out

Posted by Andy 'Macca' McCann on February 10, 2015 at 7:05 PM Comments comments (0)

The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls'.

 I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!'

 Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily.

Around 3 am, a bit loaded, I headed for home.

 Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.

 Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.

 I was really...

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Scottish Biology class

Posted by Andy 'Macca' McCann on February 10, 2015 at 1:50 AM Comments comments (0)

A biology exam...

 

 

This is straight from Scotland where students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam.

 

The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk.

The question was worth 70 points.

One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages.

However, he wrote:

 

1) It is perfect formula for the child.

...

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Maths Instruction

Posted by Julz and Doogee on February 4, 2015 at 2:40 AM Comments comments (0)

Subject: EXTREMIST

In 2011 a high school teacher was arrested at Sydney’s Kingsford-Smith International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator.

At the press conference, the Attorney General said he believed the man was a member of the notorious extremist Al-Gebra movement.

He did not identify the man, who was charged by the AFP with carrying weapons of maths instruction.

...

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What's worse than a colonoscopy?

Posted by Andy 'Macca' McCann on February 3, 2015 at 4:55 AM Comments comments (1)

Ever wonder what could be worse than a colonoscopy?


You will know the answer after watching this short, absolutely hilarious  video. The Aussies know comedy! Click below:


 www.youtube.com/embed/gSw4CLV14sQ?rel=0

 

For the Sherriff....

Posted by Julz and Doogee on January 27, 2015 at 4:15 AM Comments comments (1)


The only people who wear helmets are pansies, nerds, and anyone who wants to live when the idiot in the car next to you doesn't check his blind spot before changing lanes.....

Just sayin!!


The Irish Painter

Posted by Andy 'Macca' McCann on January 25, 2015 at 7:55 PM Comments comments (0)

A painter by the name of Murphy, while not a brilliant scholar, was a

gifted portrait artist.

 

Over a short number of years, his fame grew and soon people from all

over Ireland were coming to the town of Doolin in County Clare, to get

him to paint their likenesses.

 

One day, a beautiful young English woman arrived at his house in a

stretch limo and asked if he would paint her in the nude.

 

This being the first time ...

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Bugs on my face

Posted by Ado on January 21, 2015 at 5:30 PM Comments comments (1)

Here is a poem I found on the web. I don't know who wrote it so SORRY to the author but I thought it was very smart.


Bugs On My Face

Wind in my hair and dawn on my brow
Fresh air and freedom and no one around
All to myself this glorious morn
The new day’s cool breath is starting to warm
Just one caveat I’m learning to hate
The ocean’s cool spray is salted to taste
And I’m not alone,

I ...

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The haircut

Posted by Andy 'Macca' McCann on January 16, 2015 at 1:25 AM Comments comments (0)

The Haircut

 One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill,

and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you; I'm doing community service this week.'

The florist was pleased and left the shop.

When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

 Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barb...

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The country preacher

Posted by Andy 'Macca' McCann on January 13, 2015 at 6:15 PM Comments comments (0)

Country Preacher......

had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought

to choosing a profession.

 Like many young Men his age, the boy didn't really know

 what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it.

 

One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try

 an experiment.

 He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects..

...

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Travelling by Air this season?

Posted by Andy 'Macca' McCann on January 13, 2015 at 6:05 PM Comments comments (0)

For those who watched the Hobit, Must have cost a fortune,

 Really enjoyed this NON boring safety video

 www.youtube.com/embed/qOw44VFNk8Y

 

 

The perfect marriage?

Posted by Andy 'Macca' McCann on January 12, 2015 at 5:00 PM Comments comments (0)

RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

 

1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

 2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California, and mine is in Texas.

 3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

 4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long ti...

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